Lucy Aiston

6th May 1963 - 10th August 2012

Lucy, sitting at the rim of Bryce Canyon, Utah, USA. 5th August 2010

Gabriel's Obe - Ennio Morricone.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Lucy was born to Margaret and Colin Aiston on 6th May 1963 in Liverpool maternity hospital, a sister for Richard. The family continued to grow with a move to Lancaster and the arrival of Mary and later twin sisters Anna and Rachel. Lucy always counted her blessings being a member of this lovely family and throughout her life enjoyed spending time with them, their partners and children.

Lucy was educated at the local village primary school and then Morecambe High School where her logical type brain led to A levels in Maths and Physics (and French just because she enjoyed it and perhaps was starting to appreciate the joy of travelling). She loved creative activities sewing her own clothes, dolls clothes for the younger twins and re-knitting the rather large jumpers that arrived from granny.

Lucy's lifelong love of camping and mountains started with family camping trips to Wasdale Head when all 7 of them packed in to the Zephyr and stayed for as long as the weather held. The village Guides had a splendid leader and keen camper. Weekend camps (and week long ones in the summer) were brilliant and as a patrol leader Lucy went on to take guides away herself and win prizes for neatly erected tents and cooking meals for the masses on log burning fires. All good fun and great leadership experience for a busy life to come. During the sixth form Lucy moved on to venture scouts which was again good fun, just with a beer or two added.

Lucy learnt the piano from 7 and later the flute to play in the school orchestra until her lack of any musical ability was finally acknowledged! She did play in a recorder consort briefly that sounded pretty good so it wasn't all bad.

A B.Eng in Engineering Science at Liverpool University completed Lucy's formal education. Lucy would admit that she didn't make the most of her university time making more of the beer than the course or other opportunities available, however during the summer breaks she volunteered at various work camps helping run a play scheme in Rotherham, working with patients with learning difficulties in a Birmingham hospital and leading a group building an adventure playground in Evesham. She also spent 6 weeks as an au pair in Strasbourg which left her reasonably fluent in French.

Graduating in 1984 led to a move south to start work with an ICL subsidiary in Stevenage. The graduate intake scheme provided a thoroughly enjoyable readymade social life and excellent technical experience in communications software which defined her career as a software developer for many years. Here she also met her first husband, Brian Murray, who she was to spend the next 9 years with before the relationship broke down.

Redundancy led to job moves to Wordplex in Slough, then Travicom in Maidenhead and Ingres in Reading which all added to her work experience in comms, System Admin, assembler, C and other languages. Lucy loved to reminisce on the early days starting work on a floor with 40 staff, with only 2 other women staff who were both secretaries. Documentation was sent to a typing pool and you shared VDU terminals until the arrival in the mid 80s of the first PCs.

Local bike rides and cycling and camping holidays and time spent with family friends were the highlights of these years. Joining the local canoe club was life changing, initially attempting marathon racing (where Lucy proved much more effective at organising races than actually taking part) then meeting the local white water paddlers. There were numerous weekends away canoeing and also walking and biking in the Yorkshire dales, a holiday in the French Alps, and a trip sea kayaking round the Scottish Islands from Oban. She even canoed the Zambezi during a visit to Zimbabwe. Lucy also enjoyed helping out with training courses but weekends in the pub were probably the highlight!

Days - Kirsty MacColl.


In 1994 Lucy started work at Oracle where she was to remain, developing and supporting internal systems. The rapidly growing company provided great opportunities for technical and management roles and international work and travel which Lucy seized on. She spent quite some time commuting to Munich but also travelled to most European countries as well as South Africa, USA and India. She loved visiting her team in Bangalore and Hyderabad and it was a great joy to her when she was invited to a wedding in India and she loved the whole experience.

Lucy had a special capacity for making friends and was in regular touch with a wide variety of people that she had met in different ways over the years. She loved travelling and seeing new places and would always accept people's offer to go and stay with them. Zimbabwe, Skiing, Boston, Ireland, Finland, Brittany are some of the places she went after a friend asked her to come and stay. Thank you to everyone who invited her.

Lucy met Martin whilst white water canoeing he had on more than one occasion rescued her after she capsized. She soon realised that they shared the same love of the outdoor life and shared the same bizarre sense of humour. It was important to both Lucy and Martin that raising their children was always a joint activity.

Lucy and Martin moved to High Wycombe in 1997 renting for a year on the estate, before buying a house 6 doors away. Lucy loved living in High Wycombe and always appreciated the beauty of the Chilterns, having the open space of the Rye on her doorstep and the fact that she knew so many of her neighbours.

Lucy's parents were Quakers and in recent years she started going to the Friends Meeting in High Wycombe where she valued the silence, enjoyed the interesting conversations with other Friends and appreciated the warm welcome she was given.

Lucy absolutely loved being a mum she was immensely proud of Louise and Robert and their achievements. Although she would do anything for her children she was never overprotective and she encouraged them to be independent. She loved introducing the children to the activities and places she loved and she was thrilled to be able take the children to Scotland to show them where she had been on holiday as a child. Through the children she again met more people who became firm friends.

After helping her friend Andy with his allotment Lucy managed to get one in High Wycombe. Not so much an allotment as a field. She spent many happy hours digging weeding and harvesting at the allotment never tiring of it and always finding it a miracle that from tiny seeds you could grow more veg than you could possibly eat.

Lucy's strength of character whilst being ill meant that since the first diagnosis she never said "why me?", it was always "why not?". She never let it dominate her day to day living, and spurred her on to do many things, she learnt to ski, went whale watching, climbed a 7,700 foot mountain in France, visited the Grand Canyon and went for a hot air balloon ride She had quite a dry sense of humour and a sense of fun right to the end, she could often be heard saying "I should just pull myself together". She was wanted to say a big thank you to all the nurses and doctors, who gave her the time to enjoy more of life and to spend more time with her children.

Yes she was ill, but what mattered most to Lucy were her friends, family, and colleagues, travelling to new places, enjoying the outdoors, spending time with her children and living life to the full.

She is Gone by David Harkins

You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she's gone
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back
or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Brother Thrush - Barclay James Harvest.


  • Bryce Canyon, Utah, USA
  • Canyon Lands National Park, Utah, USA
  • Canyon Lands National Park, Utah, USA
  • Family photo shoot
  • Night sledging, Tignes, France
  • Madrid, Spain
  • Yosemite National Park, California, USA
  • New Year
  • Above the Verdon Gorge, France
  • San Gimignano, Tuscany, Italy
  • With Louise, day zero.
  • Mallorca
  • Louises 1st birthday
  • With Robert, day zero
  • With her Parents and children
  • Cornish Coast
  • Big kid at heart
  • Zorbing!
  • Henley on Thames
  • Our wedding
  • Lanzarote
  • Lanzarote
  • The river Thames
  • Eskadle, Lake District, UK.
  • At Morcambe Bay
  • Arnside Knott, Cumbria, Uk
  • in a Duck on the river in Boston, Massachusetts, USA
  • Arcadia National PArk, New England, USA
  • Local Woods
  • First family Ski trip. Morzine, France. 2006
  • Jubilee Park, Uk
  • You can still see the grim under the cag!
  • Gower peninsula, North Wales.
  • La Rosiere, France
  • Champs Elysees, PAris, France
  • Day out at the races!
  • Brittany, France
  • Building an Igloo, Cowleaze woods, January 2010
  • Stonehenge at sunset
  • Angles Lnding, Zion National PArk, Utah, USA
  • Walks from Broowdale, Lake District, UK
  • Walks from Broowdale, Lake District, UK
  • Walks from Broowdale, Lake District, UK
  • sitting by Lake Annecy, France
  • Near Annecy, France
  • Summit of La Tournette, France - height 7713 feet (2351m)
  • Hot air Balooning over the Chilterns
  • Diagon Alley
  • nr Angles Landing, ZIon National Park, USA


Below are comments left by friends and collegues.


Guy Emerson

How Known: Work colleague and manager

Lucy was an extraordinary and exceptional woman, who despite her many challenges, never ceased to see the bright side. Her loud voice and infectious laugh could never be mistaken!
Her enthusiam to enjoy life and her courage in facing her hardest challenge with such a positive approach, will always stay with me. I admired Lucy so much and I am very proud to have known her.
My thoughts, prayers and best wishes go out to Martin, Louise & Robert.

Thu Aug 16 08:53

Joyce Goodman

How Known: Friend & colleague

Lucy was an incredibly strong lady, whether facing challenges in work or in her life outside. I greatly admired her approach to life.
I hope that you Louise & Robert know how much she admired you, and how proud she was of you. She thought you were both amazing - she told me that so many times.
Guy already mentioned Lucy's infectious laughter. It has been echoing in my head all week and I hope I will continue to remember that in the years to come.

Thu Aug 16 12:59

Kangeyan Sivagurunathan

How Known: Work Colleage

Lucy was very lively and enthuastic lady with positive attitude. I had a pleasure work with her for number of years and certinly she will be missied for the years to come.
Martin, Louise & Robert
May the love of those around you help you through the days ahead and my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Thu Aug 16 16:43

Becky Morrisson

How Known: Head Teacher of the first school Louise and Robert went to.

I met Lucy when I became Head Teacher of Marsh School in 2007. She was a founder member of my PTA and was always so cheerful and determined at all times. She was keen to help to make my lovely school as good as it could be and I feel that both Lucy and Martin were such tremendous support especially in the early years with their fabulous common sense and sense of humour. Lucy inspired me to do the Moon Walk with her name on my TShirt ans believe me the sore feet were worth it! Lucy will be truly missed but her her determination and spirit was a inspiration to us all. unfortunately I am on holiday in Majorca for the funeral but want to offer my thoughts to the family. Robert and Louise left my little school a while back but they and Martin are always part of us and we are there for you.

Fri Aug 17 22:58

Roger Stapley

How Known: Worked for her at Oracle

Echo a lot of what Guy says - an infectious laugh and a lovely lady!!! We worked hard but we had fun too - a sad loss.
Martin - stay strong!
Louise and Robert - never forget the good moments - you had many!!

Sat Aug 18 12:26

Menaka ,Vamsi & Neil Jasti

How Known: Family Friend and Vamsi's Ex-coworker

The most Lovable person we have ever met so far, We and our family in India take with us all the wonderful memories she has shared and cherished with us not to forget her travelling all the way to India to attend our wedding and getting completely involved with the family traditions and rituals .It was indeed a dark week for the whole family in UK and back home in India once we heard the loss of this beautiful soul .Now we look forward to see her in those sparkly eye's of Robert and Louise..... We love you a lot
Martin, we understand that no words can make a passing of a loved one easy to understand but we as your friends are here to help you in any way possible,

Tue Aug 21 13:30:15

Brock Blatter

How Known: Work Colleague

We worked together quite closely for a bit but I'd fallen out of touch lately. I remember her intelligence, common sense (which is not actually very common), warmth, and great sense of humor. She was one of the first people I worked with closely as our group figured out how to work around the world. I remember early morning (for me, in California) phone calls, where between the fuzzy cell phone connection and her strong accent I don't think I got more than every third word.

Thu Aug 23 02:52

Heather Manford

How Known: Work Colleague

I always heard Lucy before I saw her and she had 2 levels - loud and very loud! She had a smile that would brighten any room and a frown that would darken one - when I saw an impending frown relating to work I always scarpered! I always admired the fact that she was true to herself in the workplace and just got on with it without caring if anyone accused her of "just being emotional".
Lucy had a great sense of humour, was dedicated to work but most importantly her family. When I moved roles we used to bump into each other in the changing rooms at David Lloyd or the coffee counters at work and she always gave me updates on how Louise and Robert were doing and was so proud of all your achievements from beginning to gurgle to throwing those first infant strops and beyond!
Although we were very different it was an honour and privelege to have known Lucy and I'll always remember her warmth and vivaciousness with great fondness. My thoughts are with all her family and close friends at this time.

Tue Aug 28 08:35

Richard Kettlewell

How Known: Worked for her and with her for several years

Wow, where do you start to pick out your favourite memory of Lucy. She took me under her wing when I started work for Oracle in the 1940s. She had faith in me, and didn't shout at me as much as everyone else :-). I owe a massive amount to Lucy, and I very much doubt I'd have experienced as many 'ups' in my career or personal life if it hadn't been for her. As fellow Northerners we shared a 'get on with it' attitude to life, and Lucy's views on everything from work, to canoeing, to marriage, and kids, were pure common sense, often funny, and ultimately incredibly useful and enlightening. Louise and Robert can be very proud of their Mum. They just don't make them like that any more!

Tue Aug 28 16:51

Neeta Ahluwalia

How Known: Friend and Colleague

My earliest memory of Lucy is of a trip to USA years ago when we were both very new to driving on the other side of the road. We got it slightly wrong. Luckily only a few noisy car horns were heard. Lucy's reaction was laughter - lots of it. Looking through the photos of outings at Oracle, you can see her laughing&grinning in each of them- a happy person who tried to see the positive side of life..always.
Lucy had an energy and passion in everything she undertook and that tremendous strength when she needed it the most. Her pragmatic approach meant she didnt hesitate to say "just get on with it"; she also never failed to point out that a diet of cakes & pastries was not a good thing. You knew exactly where you stood with her.
My lasting memory of Lucy is how much she loved her family & all the achievements, likes & dislikes that made the kids such fun to be with. Even their strops were regaled with humour. Lucy talked with such pride and pleasure of Louise's drama group, her love of reading and Robert's skill and love of Lego and all super heroes and of their holidays together. I'll miss Lucy for all the times she told me off for being late, for having no sense of navigation, for bringing cakes for the kids and leaving them with a sugar high and for the very dear friend who had a great sense of humour and was fun to be with.
Martin Louise & Robert, My thoughts & prayers have been with you all along. I hope that your memories & times with Lucy support you in the future.

Tue Aug 28 23:06

Hilary Byrne

How Known: Worked with her for 10+ years at Oracle

I remember visiting the office a few years back while on a personal trip to Reading. Everyone was down in the dumps about being back to work after the holidays. The door on the 1st floor of TVP 530 opened & in bounced Lucy, beaming from cheek to cheek. She was laughing about how depressed everyone was & she said to me "I'm just glad to be here" She valued life & lived it to the max!
The last time I worked with Lucy was the end of 2010/start of 2011. I was pregnant on my daughter & was just assigned to a project where I felt totally out of my depth - in short I was overwhelmed! Lucy saved the day! She spent many hours helping me, answering my questions & covering for me on meetings when I clearly didn't know the right answers. She was patient, genergous with her time & so so supportive. She was a wonderful colleague. Oracle & the world is a much duller place without her.
Martin,Louise & Robert my thoughts & prayers are with you during this very difficult time.

Wed Aug 29 10:20

Rekha Nagaraj

How Known: Work colleague

Lucy was one of the most exuberant people, I have ever met in my life. I will always remember her zest for life and her very infectious laughter.
Lucy is my role model. I just can not forget her courage and the way she took things in her stride. She will be missed dearly.
My thoughts are with her family.

Wed Aug 29 19:50

Val Murdoch

How Known: Holidays with mutual friends Kathy & Marion

I spent two wonderful holidays with Martin, Lucy and our mutual friends in California (2000) and Tuscany (2001). Lucy & Martin were such practical, down to earth, fun-loving people and there was always so much laughter with the pair of them!
Lucy's smile was infectious and nothing seemed to worry her. Like others have commented - she basically just got on with things and that was that.
Through our email contact in recent months I was truly amazed by her fortitude and general outlook on her illness. So typical of Lucy, to meet all obstacles head-on and deal with them in her own forthright way.
Martin, Louise and Robert - you don't really need me to tell you what a wonderful person Lucy was. Memories of her will sustain you over the years, especially as most of them will probably bring a smile to your faces! Hold on to those good times, and Lucy will be in your hearts always. Take care.

Wed Aug 29 20:28

Sophie Popper

How Known: Work Colleague

Lucy was a force of strength, genuine, true to her principles and her own person. If Lucy did not agree with something or someone then she would say so and state why, no matter who or what she was dealing with. There were a lot of challenging scenarios presented over the years at Oracle and in life; Lucy always remained positive and happy. No matter how challenging the situation, Lucy was always constructive. My lasting memory of Lucy is definitely, a glass half full person, who knew her mind and would not be compromised.

Thu Aug 30 19:20

Manju Latha & Rajya Lakshmi

How Known: Brother's Marriage - India

Lucy has become very important member in our families and friends during her very short stay in India. She looked gorgeous in saree and Indian Jewellery. Admired a lot while the marriage was going on and posed many questions to know about Indian culture and tradition. We always remember the fun we had while shopping. We want to hug you and tell you WE LOVE YOU again. WE MISS YOU TERRIBLY LUCY. Martin - She may have had life snatched away from her early, but I know the years you, kids and she were together were the best ones of her life. She was very lucky to have you and knew it.

Fri Aug 31 12:25

Alex Everard

How Known: Friend and colleague

Incredibly hardworking, balanced, human.
Farewell and Glod Bless.

Mon Sep 3 09:27

Chris Walters

How Known: Through canoeing

You were always in no doubt when Lucy was around - her energy and loudness created a presence that was unique, warm and a bundle of honesty and directness that you couldn't help but like.
I fondly remember all the kayaking weekends and holidays we were both on as members of the canoe club in Reading. Lucy brought a really determined "try anything" attitude to canoeing that also clearly permeated the rest of her life. One of my favourite memories was a weekend in North Wales, where it was so dry that we all went mountain walking instead - Lucy wanted to walk up Snowdon, so being very familiar with the mountain, I took the group up Crib Goch, quite a hard route. All the way up we had squeaks and expletives from Lucy as it was "*****y climbing, not walking". But every time I turned round, she had the biggest grin on her face you've ever seen, and as we we walking down, you couldn't shut her up from repeating "that was ACE - when can we do it again?"
Lucy leaves a big void on the planet, but at the same time, she leaves lovely memories of her big personality, and infectious enthusiasm for just about everything that moved. Louise and Robert can be proud to have had such an ace mum, and Martin blessed to have had such an ace wife.

Mon Sep 3 21:58

Jayne Ingles

How Known: Work Colleague

The first time I came across Lucy she was discussing her experience of Zorbing over the weekend. I thought she was very loud and must be truly mad!
As I got to know Lucy I realised it wasn't madness that drove her but a need to experience everything life has to offer. Lucy was a larger than life character that always had a knack of saying the right thing, even if others were not prepared to say it.
I will greatly miss her advice and shoulder, as I took advantage of both quite often

Wed Sep 5 10:58

David Vickers

How Known: Work colleague

So sad to hear this news. Her enthusiasm and vibrant personality are still a fond memory of my early days at Oracle.
Sympathies and best wishes to the family.

Wed Sep 5 18:04

Claire Strange

How Known: Friend

I first met Lucy when Louise and our daughter Alison were at nursery together and we used to say hello at drop-off and pick-up. However, we got to know each other much better a few years later when a group of mums got together on a regular basis. We met up for meals, for cups of tea, but most of all, for a chat over a piece of cake. I saw Lucy often over the last few years and we really enjoyed our time together. I was always amazed at how positive and interested she remained. There were days, of course, when she wasn't feeling her best, but even then, I always came away the better for having spent time with her. Lucy was so ill at the beginning of this year, but after she had recovered a bit with a change of drugs, she talked a lot about being so happy she'd had that 'extra' time with Martin, Louise and Robert.
I'm very glad to have known her and I'll miss her terribly. Very best wishes to Martin, Louise and Robert and the rest of the family, I'll be thinking of you all.

Thu Sep 6 11:13

Clare Suares (nee Brasier)

How Known: work colleague and friend

It's 10 years or so since I left Oracle but I can still remember all my work and social times with Lucy. She was incredibly smart and full of life.
More importantly were the team socials we had and when Lucy took me under her wing as the grad in the team and I often stayed at her house and then at her flat..she cooked me lentil bake, various other veggie concoctions and then we ate it all with large amounts of wine and beer!
I spent 8 years at Oracle, most of which were with Lucy. I was so pleased for her when she found happiness with Martin and then with her children.
She will be missed, her passing has made me think that I will cherish every moment with my children and that I'm so sorry that I never kept in touch enough with her.
Wonderful memories of a fantastic woman.

Mon Sep 10 19:28


How Known: Work Colleague and Friend

I'm probably repeating much of what others have added but will say it all the same...
Lucy was a great friend and support over many years and had a great knack of saying the right thing at the right time - occasionally it may not have been what people wanted to hear but it had to be said and Lucy invariably found a way of saying it diplomatically.
Since she stopped coming in to the office I've really missed her company and her role as my "sounding board" for all the bizarre things that we have to tackle. No matter how dire the situation, Lucy would always see the funny side, and this applied to her illness as well which she bore with amazing courage. Indeed in our last conversation she told me "I'm really not very well" and then laughed.
I'm sure everyone has some great memories of Lucy that they cherish. We've all learned a lot from her about life and the need to grasp every opportunity that comes along.
It was a great pleasure to have had her in our lives and I'm so grateful to have known her.

Mon Sep 17 12:20

Karen Westerby

How Known: Lucy and I were 'best friends' all the way through primary school at St Lukes, Slyne with Hest and we remained very close throughout our time at Morecambe High School until we went our separate ways to university. We grew up together in the same village.

I have so many good memories of Lucy that I have been reflecting on over the past few days since hearing about her loss. Although we went in different directions, when we were young I loved her like a sister and we were very close. My various memories include; playing skittleball, skipping and rounders in the primary school playground; talking about wanting to be nuns when we grew up (so funny now); going to brownies and guides; cycling to school together; visiting Granny Aiston in Scarborough; camping; rock climbing and canoeing at high school and quite simply just spending time chilling together as teenagers (listening to Deep Purple and Barclay James Harvest).
Lucy was always her own person and carved her own original path. This strength to be herself clearly stayed with her as I read through other peoples' reflections. I loved her laughter and individuality and she really was the best of friends to me. Lucy was also a very caring person and as a young teenager she talked about wanting to be a nurse. I remember her social conscience and values were important to her. Lucy was multi talented; very clever at maths and science and she also loved cooking and baking and was a very practical person.
Although I feel really saddened to hear of Lucy's loss as she made such a big impact on my young life, it is gladdening to see she found real happiness with you Martin, Louise and Robert. This would have been the most important thing to her and I hope this gives you some comfort.

Tue Dec 18 21:31